Hang Right Politics

Posted by Big Mo on November 15th, 2007 in Random, CIA, Loony Left

One. This week my wife and I finally got around to watching “The Bourne Identity.” It’s a well-made and well-acted movie that’s also laughable. Oh, not the premise that Jason Bourne has lost his memory and is now being tracked by his former bosses to be eliminated. That’s fine. What I find so laughable is that liberals have latched on to the whole Bourne franchise as an “answer” to the super-spy stuff of Tom Clancy and even James Bond—as if Bourne fulfills all of their liberal angst with the big ol’ bad CIA and all that’s “wrooooong” with America.

Think about this for a second: when was the last time Hollywood made a movie where the CIA was truly the hero? (And I totally ignore the truly stupid Ben Afflek version of “The Sum of All Fears” where neo-Nazis became the bad guys instead of the real, true-to-life bad guys, radical Muslims.) Many movies make the CIA, the military, the FBI or some nebulous and ridiculous government/military agency created just for the movie into the bad guy. From the gorgeous but stupid “The Core” to “Enemy of the State” to the “Bourne” franchise, it’s hard to find a movie where “CIA” isn’t treated worse than a curse word.

But really, now: If the CIA was even 1% as dangerous/deadly/efficient as Hollywood pretends it is, then:

1. We would not have been caught flat-footed by the fall of the Soviet Union
2. We would not have had so bad an intelligence screw-up with Saddam’s WMD
3. The following people would have assumed room temperature a long time ago: Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, Saddam Hussein (before he actually did), Osama bin Laden (some think he already has) and so on.

We can only wish the CIA was as Samuel L. Jackson-bad-assed as liberal Hollywood makes it out to be.

Two. If you didn’t see this horrible story from the St. Charles (Mo.) Journal linked in Conservative Grapevine, you need to. This is physically close to home. It is wretchedly horrible. I hope that the law comes down HARD on the people behind this.

Three. As a side note to the above, I wonder how long it will be before that terrible story shows up as an episode on Law & Order, CSI, Without a Trace, Criminal Minds or one of the other lawyer/forensics/whatever shows?

I don’t mean that flippantly. There are a couple of episodes of Without a Trace and a few other shows that my wife, who has a degree in psychology, says should be shown in all schools where bullying and other such things are big problems. For example, one of those shows had an episode where a 14-year-old boy was enticed with sex by a hot girl. Once her target was in a certain room, she handcuffed him to a heater and she and her several friends made fun of him for a long time.

Four. Here’s something to lighten the mood: I’ve really gotten into Batman comics—specifically the graphic novels. Batman has always been my favorite superhero (and not because of the corny 60s TV show which I (alas) watched just a few too many times as a kid). Batman is a superhero who doesn’t have super powers. He uses his brains, his muscles and contacts to solve crimes. In other words, he’s believable.

The animated versions of Batman are actually far superior to any of the live-action versions, though Christian Bale’s “Batman Begins” was the best one since Tim Burton’s 1989 “Batman.” “Batman the Animated Series,” “Batman Beyond” and “Justice League Unlimited” feature great Batman stories and voice acting—especially Kevin Conroy as Bruce Wayne/Batman and Mark Hamill (aka Luke Skywalker) as the Joker, who IMHO is much better than Nicholson’s Joker. Judge for yourself:

Jack Nicholson’s Joker in Batman

Mark Hamill’s Joker in Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

(Of course, we’ll have to see what Heath Ledger does with the character.)

This, though, is one of my favorite Batman moments, which appears during the first 60 seconds of the Justice League Unlimited episode “This Little Piggy” (an otherwise silly episode): Batman and Diana, aka Wonder Woman (what a silly name) are on a rooftop stakeout and she tries to put some moves on Batman, and he shuts her down. It’s classic Batman. Watch just the first minute of this clip. (You can see the rest of the episode here and here, if you really want to.)

(Note – I’ve never cared to much for the latest series called “The Batman,” because the artistry is so odd and the stories not as compelling. In “Batman: The Animated Series,” the Dark Knight fights more than just the costumed freaks. He also takes on terrorists and common gangsters and even corrupt politicians. Some darn good story lines in that series, especially the first two or so years.)

Five. While reading Clarence Thomas’ autobiography, My Grandfather’s Son, I was struck by something powerful: could I have ever measured up to Thomas’ Daddy? I had a hard enough time doing so with my own Grandpa (he’s the original “Big Mo”; see “About Big Mo” for more). But Daddy demanded much from Thomas and his brother, more than my Grandpa did from my brother and cousins. (But Grandpa did demand much from my uncle!)

But I was struck by the similarities between my Grandpa and Thomas’ Daddy: despite quite different backgrounds—one white, one black; one poor, the other much poorer—both men lived by codes that you didn’t break. You worked, you served, you worshiped, you lived with the hand you were dealt, and you did everything you could to help your children have things better than you. And when smart-assed kids came back from college thinking they knew everything and that their grandparents were just illiterates who didn’t know squat…well…

Thanks, Grandpa. I know much more now, but only because you taught me first.

Bonus. Here is one more reason to despise Hollywood and rebel against the disgusting, repulsive, asinine, trite and pretentious celebrity worship culture. I give you George Clooney in the latest Rolling Stone, elucidating on who the next president should be:

“Anybody who’s running who’s gone through the Sixties and didn’t smoke a joint, I don’t want you for president. You haven’t lived at all. What the f ***’s wrong with you?”

You can’t argue with such stupidity, folks. You just can’t.